[Stargirl] Excluded

This group thing, I said, it's very strong. It's probably an instinct. You find it everywhere, from little groups like families to big ones like a town or school, to really big ones like a whole country.

-Stargirl, Jerry Spinelli, page 137

We belong to many groups of people throughout our lives. Once born, everyone has to take part somewhere; child of a family, friend of somebody, student at school and so on. As the society one participate gets broader, a person gets to meet different people. Some maybe friendly and outgoing, some quiet, logical, passionate, ... If a person meets 100 different people, that person will deal with 100 different personalities. And sometimes, problems do occur. Excluding somebody from a group, or in everyday-word, bullying, under the guilt of "being different from the rest."

Being Different and Being Wrong

The point is,  in a group everybody acts pretty much the same, that's kind of how the group holds itself together. Everybody? she said. Well mostly, I said. That's what jails and mental hospitals are for, to keep it that way. You think I should be in jail? she said. I think you should try to be more like the rest of us, I said.
Why? she said.
Because, I said.

-Stargirl, Jerry Spinelli, page 137

In the first part of the story, a girl named Stargirl-as she named herself- is loved by everyone. Her enthusiasm and sincerity moves people's hearts. However, her distinctive feature makes others to ignore and bully her from some point. Because she was different, she was abandoned from the group.

After this incident, Stargirl tries to act like rest of the girls: wearing make-up, no more singing, using the name “Susan” instead of Stargirl. But in the end, she goes back to “Stargirl”, her own self. The message that the author is giving is simple. Be yourself, no matter what others say: difference isn't wrong.

What a nice message, that's what I first thought. Then something else came to my mind: another type of excluding.

Something Extra to Think about

Most people know by their heart and head that bullying is wrong. But at the same time, people think that it is their freedom to dislike somebody. This seems reasonable since there is absolutely no reason to withstand or befriend someone that do not suit oneself. However, what if everyone does not want to become a friend of that person? Everyone decides on his own, but this resulted in bullying.

This is different from the story of Stargirl since everyone's decision was made individually. Can they be criticized by the fact that their action had resulted in isolation of that single person? Or let's change the question: can they be absolutely free from the responsibility of this unintended bullying? Should somebody befriend the excluded one even if he doesn't really want to, just out of responsibility to include everyone in group? These are some things to be thought of.